This moment.
I am exhausted.
Wow. I am a mother, and I am writing my first blog post. How typical is that first line… for a mommy –blogger. It literally makes me laugh to write those words.
I AM also a painter, a women’s health nurse practitioner, a forensic nurse, and a good friend. I do all of those things part time, but I do family with my whole heart.
I am not always exhausted. Family and friends have been lifelines these past 2 months (end of pregnancy and beginning of Cora’s life.) Big brother has adjusted better than expected. But today, I am toast. Sick babies, back pain, husband out of town. I don’t know how single parents do it, but my respect is so strong. I was just lying on the couch to catch a few winks when baby woke me out of my haze.
I’ve been here before.
Exhausted, I mean. As a nursing student worried WAY too much about grades, as a night shift trauma nurse trying to function during the day; and as a first time momma. And I survived. All of it. And people have survived much, much, much worse.
In this moment, I can choose. I can choose to continue to be exhausted and frustrated that Trevor is out of town and that my babies didn’t sleep and … Or, I can choose to look into the eyes of One who loves me and LEAN into love. There is a love that is bigger than lack of sleep or timelines or sickness. What a joy is choice.
This is not a very profound first post. I plan on writing about art and inspiration and deep moments of the soul. I plan on sharing tips that I am learning along the way as an artist and women’s health practitioner. Today, however, this is where I am. And look, baby is back asleep, and I’m going to put a little paint on paper before it’s time to do the next thing.