It’s been years since I have written here. Of course, that does not mean that there are not - dozens- of sketchbooks, journal, hotel papers, etc that each have scattered entries that I honestly need to track down. When the need to write strikes, any paper, pen or device will work.

MUCH has happened since I’ve last written here. In the beginning, it felt special, raw and not something I would put on a blog online. And then, honestly I’ve forgotten about this writing space. I’ve written bits and pieces on instagram. I met my Kyungmin online, on a very tiny fledgling dating platform that never made it past the beta phase. Lots of funny pieces to that story - but we are SO thankful for it. After talking for months, he flew from California to meet me in Atlanta. I asked for references. He thought I was joking. As a single mom, I can assure you I was not joking, Turns out we had a dear mutual friend that we discovered by chance on that trip - and she invited us to dinner together that weekend! It was a few more trips before he met the kids - and he says he was more scared to meet them than my parents! Turns out they love him. Each of us happens to be truly everything the other had dreamed of - which we written in journals years before dreaming of a future spouse. He moved to Alabama. I wrote this as he was preparing to move for us -

1/18/23 - Your choices for me don’t go unnoticed. Every client you say goodbye to every coworker you get that last lunch with. The Sundays that are being counted down, one less housechurch to go before you leave the friends who helped you through the hardest time, and visa versa. The balmy days in the Bay Area - anticipating Alabama heat and humidity. The Korean food and proximity to people who look like you and think more like how you grew up. Your quiet nights and spontaneous meals with your roommates, who are some of your closest friends right now. It all doesn’t go unnoticed. I am so thankful that you are actively choosing me and us.

In the years since, lots of choices have been made for each other. After everything fitting so perfectly, it was almost a surprise when early marriage has also hard. I know marriage can be hard - but I also thought that I was really good at it. Almost as if I had forgotten all of the miscommunications, frustrations, and pain of growing together that happened in my first marriage too. The ways that we had each learned to express and receive love here in middle age did not necessarily FIT each other. And we both thought we were REALLY good at loving people! Our triggers were surprising to each other (and to ourselves). Marriage counseling was really helpful. We have come into a comfortable place now… at our old marriage age of one year and nine months. I think we both see each other with a lot of thankfulness, and more of that old love that grows. That old love is what I am cultivating, and looking forward to growing. That love that knows each other’s faults, and deeply loves despite the splintery parts. Like an old worn table - not necessarily glistening and faultless, but worn over by experience of meals and conversations shared. I am really so very thankful to be sharing meals and games, laughs and dreams over the table with Kyungmin and the kids.

Soon, I hope to write more about our process. To share about my midwifery and women’s health journey the last few years - and hopefully to share. a lot more about the childcare’s book that has been in the works for YEARS now, that Cora has been my biggest advocate to see come to life.

A brief update